||[May. 28th, 2007|10:14 pm]
I don’t understand why it hurts so much this time. All I want is the one thing I cant have and well she doesn’t trust me anymore because I broke up with her and well I know now that I shouldn’t have but it happened and I have not been the best boyfriend to her but you don’t know what you have until it is gone. I am now attempting to choose a path in life for myself, wither it is with her or not I don’t know as now. I am still an emotional mess and I just don’t know what to do, I feel like shit more than half the time and I feel like I need to figure things out before I make a move anywhere. I am just so confused and the one thing I do know is that I love her but I also know that I want to attempt to change the world through my art, I want to make a difference and become part of something that is greater than myself and make an attempt to open peoples eyes to how things really are and possibly bring about change. Is this realistic...probably not but I can try, I can try to make to make art with a propose, something that has significance, and yet I can’t do it because I am here with my heart torn, not knowing what to do.